Hesperian Health Guides
Anxiety
For situations that you know make you anxious, learning how to make yourself feel calm can help (see âRegain calmâ, below). If the feelings continue or happen too frequently, you may need help to identify and address what is causing the worry and anxiety. This could be planning ahead (for example, to avoid anxiety about being late for appointments because buses run behind schedule, you could plan to leave earlier) or coming up with a new strategy (for example, to worry less about your childâs safety, you could organize with other parents so all the children on your block walk home together). Where the cause of concern is related to larger injustices or problems that make you worry for yourself or others, donât stay alone with it. As a first step, find and talk with others who are experiencing the same situation or feelings.
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Feeling worried all the time
If you stay worried or always fear the worst will happen, and there is no specific situation that is causing your worries, then you may need help from someone who has experience counseling people about anxiety.
Constant worry may come with other signs:
- feeling tense, restless, or nervous
- difficulty thinking clearly
- sweating, headaches, muscle aches, stomach aches, or unexplained pains that get worse when upset
- difficulty sleeping
When you are able to relieve or control the anxiety, often these other signs lessen or disappear.
How to regain calm: Find what works for you
There is no one strategy that calms everyone and stops anxiety, fear, panic, or anger from taking over. In fact, some people who feel anxious find that deep breathing makes them more anxious! Try different techniques and decide which work best for you. Some people count beads on a necklace, squeeze a ball, stroke something textured, smell a soothing scent, press their fingers on the bodyâs pressure points, or use finger-holds. Spend time with pets if that gives comfort or draw on your traditions or faith practices (prayers, mantras) if these help you. Practice calming exercises in group settings and with children. Learning what others find calming can add ideas to your own list.
Breathing. Deep breathing and breathing exercises help a lot of people calm down quickly. It can be as simple as breathing out a little longer than breathing in: breathe in for 4 seconds, then breathe out for 6 seconds. (See "Pause and rest" for another breathing exercise.)
Distraction. If helping someone, ask them to describe: 5 things they can see, 4 things they can hear, 3 things they can touch, 2 things they can smell, and 1 thing they can taste. Doing something to refocus your thoughts can help the body settle down more quickly.
Visualization. Choose a calming imageâ gentle waves lapping a sandy beach, towering trees filtering sunlight in a quiet woods, a kitten with soft fur snuggled on your lapâand practice keeping it in your mind. Then bring that image to mind in moments of stress by closing your eyes and concentrating on it. Longer visualization stories can also move your mind to a calmer state. For example, picture yourself beside a beautiful river where you are slowly dropping leaves or petals into the current. Imagine they are worries or problems as you watch the river carry them away.
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Panic attacks
A panic attack is a severe kind of anxiety. Panic attacks happen suddenly and can last from several minutes up to a half an hour. In addition to the signs of anxiety, you may feel your heart pounding, have chest pain, have difficulty breathing, and feel that something terrible is about to happen.
If you have repeat panic attacks, practice slow breathing at other times so you are prepared to use it when needed to calm yourself. Similar to using medicine to lower a fever, slow breathing can help you stop a panic attack but it does not resolve the problem that caused it.
How to help someone during a panic attack
Help the person regain control of their breathing. Help them focus on deep, slow breaths, inhaling through the nose and exhaling out of the mouth.
Counting slowly to 4 while breathing can help a person breathe more slowly. Be patientâit might take some time for the person to feel calm and gain control of breathing.
Another way to interrupt a panic attack is to hold an ice pack, a package of frozen food, or ice cubes in the hand, or to drink ice cold water.
Especially when a person is older or in poor health, it can be difficult to tell the difference between a panic attack and a heart attack. Often heart attacks are triggered by physical exertion, and their chest pains intensify more slowly and last longer than a panic attack. If you're not sure, do not take a chance: call 911 or go to a hospital immediately.
Stress and anxiety are not always harmful
A student may have trouble sleeping before a test, a worker may feel overwhelmed by a deadline, an athlete may worry before a race, and a community leader may feel her heart pounding before speaking at a big meeting. Sometimes stress and anxiety help us prepare for important tasks. These feelings can help us focus on a goal, make the time to plan ahead, or work especially hard. Knowing how and why our bodies react in these situations can help you use stressful feelings to your benefit. This can help you feel more ready for the situation you are facing.
Find what works for you. Everyone has worries and fears, and how we respond to these is different. Something that is a problem for one person may not be a problem for someone else. The biggest indication of whether a person needs help for their anxiety is how much it affects their daily life.
 My teen daughter is often fearful and needs support to try new things. But she knows that her hesitation also keeps her from taking risks like her friends do. |
 I was always anxious and superstitious that my worries might cause something bad to happen, which led to problems for my family and my work. In my church, we have a group where I practice how to talk about, face, and then âput awayâ my worries so they donât affect me so much. |
 The only way to get to my new job is by driving. I took lessons and got my license but am so fearful it makes me feel sick before work. A counselor is helping me because I just have to overcome this. |
 My youngest child is different from his sisters. He is very organized and neat at home and at school. He worries more about germs and remembers to wash his hands. But these habits work well for him: he does well in school and rarely gets sick. |
Part of finding what works for you is accepting how peopleâs brains work differently (this is called "neurodiversity") and celebrating its benefits, such as âoutside the boxâ problem-solving. Where neurodiversity is experienced as a disability, society should do a better job of meeting people where they are. For example, specific sensitivitiesâto light, noise, new people, or crowdsâinterfere less with enjoying daily life when there is awareness and support. A shrill-sounding school bell may make a few kids especially anxious but by changing to a softer sound, all the school children will benefit.