Hesperian Health Guides
Anger
Anger can also provide positive motivation on a personal level, for example, to get out of a bad relationship or to find a better job. On a community level, anger can lead people to organize against gender discrimination or to improve their schools. Racism, exploitation, ecological collapse, political corruption, denial of health careâ unfortunately, there is no lack of serious social problems to make us angry.
Having good mental health doesnât mean a person doesnât feel or express anger. It means they can understand what causes that anger and how to transform and channel that angry energy into effective action. We learn how to do thatâsuccessfully or less successfullyâfrom our experience growing up in a family, attending school, and living in our communities and society at large. As adults, we often have to âunlearnâ many of the habits we developed as children to deal with anger and try to replace them with more effective, less harmful ones.
All cultures have various ways of expressing and acting upon emotions, including anger.
Anger may be acceptable in some situations or when coming from people in certain family or community positions. In other situations, or from other people, getting mad may be totally unacceptable. But acceptable or not, anger is distinct from violence. While anger communicates feelings, violence is an attempt to cause emotional or physical harm.
The anger we feel inside, as well as anger and violence used on us, especially as children, can create mental health problems. It is important to develop the mental health skills that allow us to process our anger. It is just as important to change the social conditions that turn anger into violence in our communities.
Learning to recognize feelings and manage anger
Learning how to understand and process strong feelings as they appear is a valuable mental health skill for everyone. If children can begin to develop these emotional skills before they develop habits of violent response to strong feelings, it will help them, their families, future partners, and communities throughout their lives.
When children and young teens feel anger, they often lack the words to express what is going on inside them. It is difficult to identify where anger comes from and how to prevent it from taking over. Children (and most adults!) struggle to express strong feelings in ways that wonât make them feel worse, harm others, or create new problems. Sometimes, when words donât work very well to express our emotions, artbased or physical activities can help us process them.
The activities below were designed for older children. Change them as needed to use with adults or younger children or to meet the needs of your group. Combine more than one activity to link awareness of emotions with exploring what works well to feel better or calmer when emotions become hard to deal with.
Activity
Working with emotions
Find new words
Build a list of words that help talk about strong feelings. The words can be those that kids already know, can come from book or movie characters, can pair with emojis, or can be part of vocabulary homework or spelling games. Include words like: disappointment, frustration, ignored, unheard, sad, embarrassed, ashamed, scared, worried, guilty, overwhelmed, hurt, furious, and others.
Make an âinside/outsideâ drawing
Ask everyone to draw a box with space around it or a personâs head with space to write inside and around it. Label the top of the paper: âwhat you see.â Inside the box, write: âthe real meâ or âwhatâs really happening.â The area outside is for writing words or drawing scenes that show anger: yelling, swearing, throwing things, hitting, insulting, crying, etc. Inside, write or draw feelings (see âFind new wordsâ above). Use color markers to pair ideas, for example, if âscaredâ is the inside feeling behind the word âyelling,â use the same color for both, or connect them with a line. Discuss how feeling hungry or tired can cause certain ways of acting, and add these words inside the box. Each person can explain what they thought while writing and drawing, and what they wish others knew or should do when âwhat you seeâ doesnât show âwhatâs really happeningâ inside.
Make a collage highlighting hopes and dreams
Using magazines, newspapers, or printouts of online images, create a collage to show what you are looking forward to in your life, want to do within 3 years, or things you are grateful for. Collage-making is fun and focuses on positive goals. The collage can be taped to the wall to remind you of good feelings and possibilities when you are feeling down or worried.
Reminder cards or poster with ways to feel better
Experiment with different ways to feel more calm or comforted when distressed. Try squeeze balls, pressing your fingers together, pressing hands on the knees, doodling, deep breathing, or other techniques. Practice several of these as a group and then have each person draw pictures on cards of the techniques they like best. The cards can be kept at a desk, by the bed, or pasted onto a poster as a reminder of what to do when difficult feelings arise.
Shake it up and calm it down
This activity makes a glitter, sand, or âsnowâ globe you can shake and watch settle. Making and using it helps you focus on how feelings get stirred up and then calm down, useful for both children and adults to remember. Have everyone talk about what stirs up and calms down their emotions as you make the globes.
Fill a small glass jar or clear plastic bottle part-way with water and a few drops of food coloringâchoose a color you find calming. Add a little sand or glitter and small objects like shells or beads. For it to work well, add 2 drops of glycerin per 1 cup of water, leaving a little room at the top. If you donât have glycerin, use 2 teaspoons of vegetable oil or baby oil. Adding oil makes the glitter fall slower. Glue the lid onto the jar. Shake it up and watch the contents settle.