Hesperian Health Guides
Living with Infertility
HealthWiki > Where Women Have No Doctor > Chapter 14: Infertility (When You Are Not Able to Have a Baby) > Living with Infertility
Infertility can make someone feel sad, worried, lonely, frustrated, or angry.
When this happens, it is important to know you are not alone. Try to talk with people who love and care about you. You may also be able to find other couples with the same problem and learn to help each other.
More Information
helping relationships, support groupsThe stories below describe some ways that people have coped with infertility
Adopting a child: Lina’s story
Lina was 25 years old and had been married 3 times. She was very unhappy because each of her husbands divorced her when she did not become pregnant. People in the village gossiped about her and blamed her, saying that she must have used some magic to avoid pregnancy before she was married, and it must have been so strong it made her infertile.
Her sisters all had children, and sometimes Lina cared for them. Her older sister had tuberculosis (TB) and she was very ill when she gave birth to twins. Lina asked if she might adopt one of the twins and her sister agreed. Lina went to the health center and asked the health worker to help her find a way to feed the baby. The health worker taught Lina how to feed the baby from a cup and arranged to have the baby breastfed during the day by a woman in the village with another baby. At night Lina fed her baby from a cup, with breast milk that another sister gave her each evening.
Lina’s friends and neighbors were not sure that her baby would be healthy. But when they saw the baby grow strong, they were pleased and proud of Lina. In fact, Lina came to be seen as an expert in raising adopted babies. When a woman in the village died in childbirth, Lina adopted her baby as well.
Lina’s children have grown up now, and people often say how tall and strong they are. They credit this to Lina’s loving care.
— Bundoora, Australia
Building a life without children: Sara and Tito’s story
Sara and Tito tried for many years to have children, but they were not able to. At first they were sad, because families in their community were expected to have as many children as they could. Then they realized it was up to them to stop thinking that their lives were not complete without children. They decided to start a business and travel from town to town, market to market, selling pots and pans and other goods. With children, it would have been very difficult for them to travel in this way.
Now Sara and Tito are older. They care for each other, and share many laughs and many friends. They are not grandparents like their neighbors, but they have many interesting stories to tell. They are respected by everyone in the community.
— Lima, Peru