Talking with siblings about epilepsy

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HealthWiki > Epilepsy and Seizures > Chapter 8: Talking with children about epilepsy and seizures > Talking with siblings about epilepsy

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In this chapter:

 

In this chapter:

• Chapter 8: Talking with children about epilepsy and seizures
• Communicating with babies (birth to 2 years)
• Talking with children 3 to 5 years old
• Talking with children 6 to 8 years old
• Talking with children 9 to 13 years old
• Talking with young people 14 to 18 years old
• Sex and relationships
• Talking with siblings about epilepsy
• For health workers

When a child has epilepsy, everyone in the family is affected, including the child’s siblings. Because adult family members may need to take extra time to care for the needs of the child with epilepsy, the other children may resent that their brother or sister is getting more attention than they are. Or they may feel pressure to be “good” and take on extra responsibilities to make up for the challenges that epilepsy is causing their parents. Especially with young children, this can lead to “acting out” and conflicts in the family.

Talking openly about epilepsy with the entire family helps everyone develop a common understanding of what is happening and why it is important to get a child’s seizures under control. It also gives other children a chance to talk about how they feel and express feelings of anger, fear, or sadness, as well as concern for one another. Parents and caregivers can share how much they love and appreciate everyone in the family.

Especially with the added stress that comes with an epilepsy diagnosis, it can be difficult for parents and caregivers to remain patient and caring with each child all the time. If possible, try to make regular times to do “special” activities with each child. They will appreciate the attention, and you can learn how epilepsy is affecting them and their needs.

Older siblings are sometimes expected to “watch out for” and care for younger children or a child with epilepsy. While this often happens naturally given the love among children in a family, it can also create tension. As siblings get older and want to spend more time with friends their own age, they may not always want to include a sibling, whether or not the child has epilepsy.

Acknowledge how much you value and appreciate the care siblings give the child with epilepsy. Help siblings understand how fear of epilepsy and social stigma make it harder for a child with epilepsy to spend time with playmates and friends their age. Also try to arrange for other caregivers so the older siblings have some days each week for social time free from babysitting.

James, I have to ask you to bring Ode with you to the playground. I have to work and there is no one else who can make sure he is OK.

Not again! I don’t get any time just with my friends. What if we decide to go someplace else?

I’m sorry. Your aunt Grace was supposed to help, but now she can’t.

Oh, all right

I’ll be here to look after Ode all weekend, so you won’t have to.

No one wants to see a child with epilepsy get hurt, either physically or emotionally. Like parents, the child’s siblings may become so focused on protecting a child with epilepsy that they miss how the child’s abilities increase with age. Protection is important for children, but being too protective can limit a child’s growth and confidence. While keeping safety in mind, siblings can encourage a child with epilepsy to try new things like other children their age.

Why don’t you kids go and play?

What if my friends think Misha is weird? I don’t want them making fun of her or her epilepsy. Maybe it’s better if we stay here.

But that is not fair! Misha deserves to be included. She is my sister, and I love her.

Hey Misha, let’s go play badminton. It will be fun!

I don’t want to. I had a seizure on the court last time, remember? Everyone called me names.

I remember. But this time I will be with you. Who cares what anyone thinks. You’re awesome!

This page was updated:24 May 2026