Hesperian Health Guides
Talking with children 9 to 13 years old
HealthWiki > Epilepsy and Seizures > Chapter 8: Talking with children about epilepsy and seizures > Talking with children 9 to 13 years old
The physical changes of puberty also affect how children think and feel. Changes in height, weight, and hormones can affect their medication needs. If a childâs seizures suddenly return after having been controlled, they may need a dose adjustment or a different medicine. Talk with children about how body changes might affect their epilepsy.
As a child with epilepsy grows more independent, talk with them about how their expanding social circle means they will meet people who do not know about their epilepsy and may have wrong ideas about it. Encourage them to wear an epilepsy bracelet (see Chapter 6, page 164) and help them practice explaining what it means to have epilepsy and seizures, so they feel ready when the topic comes up.
Being safe doing physical activities. Parents and caregivers may worry about and discourage or stop the participation of a child with epilepsy in sports and other physical activities. Instead of placing limits on your child, continue to treat epilepsy as just one part of their life that does not have to stop them from doing things they want to do.
Talk with your child about what they will do if a seizure happens during different activities. How can they prepare for a âbreakthrough seizureâ if one happens because their medicine stops working as well? What can they do if they feel aura? Will your child have a âbuddyâ with them or is there someone else who knows how to help them in case of a seizure? Do they need safety equipment, like a helmet? Talk with your child about how to avoid things they know might trigger their seizures, such as thirst (carry a water bottle), hunger (bring a snack), etc.
Sometimes children may feel safety measures, such as wearing a helmet while bicycling or never swimming alone, draw too much attention to them or their epilepsy, or make the activities less fun. But often, these safety measures are good ways to protect everyone, not just people with epilepsy. Talk about safety during physical activities with everyone not just with your child.
Taking medicine. Children at this age can take on more responsibility for themselves, including taking their daily antiseizure medicine on their own. It is normal for people of any age to forget sometimes. Try to find a way to help your child remember without causing tension or nagging.
Offer to help. Even as older children become more independent, they may sometimes feel they are not completely ready to handle the increased responsibility of being âgrown up.â They might not want to admit feeling insecure, seeing it as a sign of weakness or immaturity. When you notice their responsibilities seem to be causing them too much stress, try to lessen their burden before they ask.
Navigating social relationships. As children approach their teenage years, fitting in with friends usually becomes more important to them. For children with epilepsy, these relationships can be especially challenging. A child may feel self-conscious about having seizures or needing to be extra careful. They may resent being treated like âthe kid who needs special attention because of epilepsy.â
Parents and caregivers often face the tricky challenge of supporting a child without getting in the way. At these ages, your child may want to handle their friendships and other social situations and relationships on their own. You can help by being a guide rather than taking over or making your child feel pressured into doing what you suggest.
For instance, be sure to talk with your child about any plans or ideas you have for community education about epilepsy, so they know what to expect. Listen to how they feel about this and ask if they might like to be involved, but do not pressure them if they prefer not to participate.
Bullying. Children and youth with epilepsy too often experience bullying and teasing from other children and adults. This can cause a child to withdraw from learning and social activities or drop out of school. Bullying creates stress, which is a common trigger for seizures. The more people know about epilepsy and its causes, the less likely they are to engage in or tolerate bullying and ridicule.
Everyoneâparents, teachers, neighbors, and community membersâhas a role to play in handling bullies and creating an environment in which bullying is not OK. When adults take the lead, children can feel more confident standing up against bullying.
How to stand up to bullies: Tips for young people
No one has to accept bullying and teasing. Here are some ways to respond if you are bullied because you have epilepsy:
Be confident in yourself and remember that epilepsy does not define you. Focus on your strengthsâyour talents, the activities you enjoy and are good at, and the goals you are working toward.
Remember all the reasons why your friends and family love you. Let this awareness help you stay calm. Practice not showing you are upset. Bullies often seek a reaction. Not reacting can make them lose interest.
Confront a bully by being assertive. Tell the bully to stop what they are doing. For example, use your strong voice to say: âStop teasing me about my condition. It is not OK. You are wrong and mean to treat me this way!â
Stay connected with supportive friends who appreciate you and will stand up for you.
Talk with an adult you trust who is good at listening. Share your experience and feelings with a parent, teacher, sports coach, or neighbor instead of keeping them to yourself. Practice what you might say if you are bullied again.
Report bullying to a person with authority at your school, community council, or church. Ask them to inform you of what action they plan to take to address what happened. Bring a friend with you so you feel supported and also have a witness to how they respond.
As long as you are not being physically attacked, standing up to bullies does not mean physically fighting back. It means speaking up confidently. If you think you are in danger, seek help from adults that you trust.