Hesperian Health Guides
Building connections as an adult
HealthWiki > Promoting Community Mental Health > Chapter 7: Mental health during different times of life > Building connections as an adult
Common ways people connectâthrough work, places of worship, children, sports, neighborhood networks, community serviceâdo not always work for everyone. It can be hard to find new friends or a sense of community, for example, after moving to a new place or losing a life partner. Because personal and group relationships are so important for health and well-being, many community groups have found creative ways to challenge the isolation felt by too many adults. And if you canât find a group, you can try to start one!
âThird places.â Many adults leave home in the morning for work or school and then return home again with nowhere else to go. Every community needs safe and appealing âthird placesâ (not home or work) where people can gather with friends, run into people they know, or make new friends, preferably without spending much or any money. Cafes, parks, dog runs, playing fields, fitness and rec centers, libraries, senior centers, and community centers can meet this need if we put energy into making them feel attractive and welcoming. Often these are existing spaces that would be used more if there was renewed outreach or they were made easier to get to by providing transportation.
The Jarrell Community Library is not only the heart of its small Texas rural community, it is one of the only places to gather. Part of the broader Libraries for Health Initiative, the Jarrell Library has a certified peer support specialist at the library to talk to people and connect them to the resources they need. The Jarrell Library focuses on seniors, military members, and young families. Their mental wellness program presents guest speakers, stocks self-help guides and books on caring for those with mental health challenges, and lends kits that include jigsaw puzzles and other activities that help aging minds stay sharp.
Workers working together. Many of us spend more time with our co-workers than we do with family members! Connecting with co-workers can make the workplace better and work less tiresome. Maybe there are opportunities to take your break alongside someone else, chat over lunch, or commute together. If you have workplace improvement committees or a union, it can provide an infrastructure for social activities and lead to new friends.
Freelance work in the âgig economyâ can leave workers more isolated and with fewer rights and lower pay than traditional jobs. Gig workers (for example, rideshare and delivery drivers, homebased call center workers) are coming together to share stories and strategies to improve their working conditions. In Mexico City, women food delivery workers connect via text in chat groups to share information and are supported by a network of cafĂ©s with orange signs in the window (âPuntos Naranjaâ). The sign shows the business will help workers in an emergency and provide a space to rest, charge a phone, or meet to talk about problems. These connections help build ties among isolated workers which can lead to improved conditions such as access to health care, accident insurance, and union representation.
Reach out to invite people in. It can be a challenge to break into long-time networks, especially for people who are shy, have just moved, donât share the same first language, or sense the door is closed to newcomers. When a group consciously throws the doors wide open, this helps meet new people halfway. To build community, go beyond opening the doorâactively invite new people in! This shows, not just says, that there is space for them too. Noticing who might be new (the family that moved into the building, the student enrolling mid-year) or who might be left out (someone with limited mobility, resettling refugees or immigrants) is a first step.
Think about what makes your space welcoming and what might make it feel strange or unsafe. When you reach out, are you aware of peopleâs languages, family obligations, access to transport, and other constraints that could limit participation? Ask about and respond to what people need to make them feel welcomed into your circle.
New faces bring new learning
Since 1972, LGBTQ+ members of the United Church of Christ (UCC) created an Open and Affirming Coalition to raise consciousness about how LGBTQ+ individuals and their families need and deserve to feel welcome and safe in their churches, and now hundreds of UCC-affiliated churches have worked toward that goal.
The UCC Longmeadow, Massachusetts, church went through a 2-year decisionmaking process that included Bible reflection and reading about and listening to LGBTQ+ identified peopleâs first-hand experiences. It was a deep look into what it really meant to âcome outâ as an open and affirming church.
