Hesperian Health Guides
Sexual assault and rape
HealthWiki > A Health Handbook for Women with Disabilities > Chapter 14: Abuse, violence, and self-defense > Sexual assault and rape
Contents
Sexual assault and rape of girls
Sexual assault and rape is extremely harmful to anyone. But the effect it has on girls can be especially hard and long-lasting. Because girls are not sexually mature and may not understand exactly how to explain what was done to them, they often have a difficult time getting anyone to believe them. In some communities, a girl who has been raped will never be ‘acceptable’ to marry.
In places where there is a strong military presence, girls are sometimes forced to be servants or ‘sex slaves’ for soldiers or armed groups. These girls are often disabled physically and emotionally as a result.
In some places, people believe that having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS, and many very young girls, and even babies, have been raped because of this belief. Because their bodies are small, their genitals get badly damaged and they are more easily infected with HIV and other sexually transmitted infections.
Getting help if you are raped or assaulted
Every woman’s experience with rape is different. But there are some things you can do to help yourself recover. First, ask yourself these questions:
- Who can you ask for help?
- Do you want to tell the police about the rape?
- Where can you go for medical care?
- Do you want to try to punish the rapist?
A disabled woman who is raped needs the same help as any other woman. It is important to tell someone you trust who can go with you to see a health worker, and help you decide if you want to tell the police. You may feel sad, hurt, scared or angry for a long time, so you will also need someone to talk with about your feelings. Choose someone who cares about you, is strong and dependable, and who you trust will not tell others. Your family or usual helpers may be too upset to be able to give you all the support you need.
If you speak differently, you may find it hard to explain what happened, especially if you are upset. If you are ashamed or frightened, the words may be harder for you to say. Sometimes it helps to draw a picture to explain what happened.
If you are deaf
Women who are deaf or have trouble speaking can have a harder time getting help if they are raped or abused. Even though she may be able to describe her attacker, if no one understands her sign language, she will have a difficult time explaining to others what happened to her and who did it.
If you are talking with a woman who has been abused or raped, reassure her that you will listen to her. Tell her to take as much time as she needs to explain what happened.
- Reassure her that it is not her fault.
- Be supportive. Listen to her feelings, help her decide what she needs, and reassure her she can go on with her life.
- Respect her wishes for privacy and safety. Do not tell anyone unless she wants you to.
- Go with her to see a health worker, to report the rape or abuse to the police, to talk with someone trained to listen and support her, to see a lawyer, and to go to court if she wants to do those things.
- Do not protect the rapist if you know him. If possible, let other women know about the man. He is a danger to every woman in the community.
If you go to the police
In most places, rape is a crime. But it may take a long time and be very difficult to prove you were raped. Make your decision to go to the police carefully. Have the police helped other women in your community who have been raped? If you want the rape to remain private, will the police keep others from learning about it?
Never go to the police alone. In some communities, a woman who goes to the police alone is at risk for being raped again by the police. Be sure someone else can go with you.
If you want to report the rape to the police, you must go as soon as possible. Do not wash, shower, or bathe before you go, and do not change the clothes you were wearing. This can help prove you were raped. The police may ask you to have a medical exam from a doctor who works with the police. The exam can also help prove you were raped.
If the rapist is arrested, you will have to identify him in front of the police or in front of a judge in court. Going to court for a rape is never easy. Describing what happened may make you have the feelings of being raped all over again. Not everyone will understand. Some may try to blame you or say you were lying.
And some people will not listen to you because of your disability. They may believe a disabled woman cannot be a truthful or convincing witness. But some women with disabilities have been successful in court, especially when they have support from their community. When you decide to go to court, make sure you always go with someone you trust.
Health problems caused by rape
After a rape, it is best to see a health worker, even if you are not badly hurt. Tell the health worker you have been raped. She can help prevent and treat common health problems caused by rape.
Pregnancy
You can prevent pregnancy if you act quickly and use emergency family planning. Speak with a health worker about this. Use emergency family planning as soon as possible after the rape, but no later than 5 days (120 hours).
Even if you use emergency contraception, if you do not get your next monthly bleeding on time, have an exam right away to make sure you are not pregnant. If you think you are pregnant, see a health worker. In some countries, abortion is legal if a girl or woman has been raped.
Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and HIV/AIDS
The man who raped you may have had a sexually transmitted infection (STI) or HIV/AIDS and passed it to you. A health worker can give you medicines to prevent STIs such as gonorrhea, syphilis, and chlamydia even if you do not think you were infected. It is better to prevent an STI than to wait for signs of infection.
You should also try to have an HIV test in 2 to 4 weeks. Until you have a negative test result, it is best to use condoms if you have sex to protect your partner from possible infection. If you live in an area where many people have HIV/AIDS, you may want to talk with a health worker about taking medicines to reduce your risk of becoming infected.
Tears and cuts
Rape can damage the genitals by causing tears and cuts. These can cause pain, but will go away in time. If there is a lot of bleeding, see a health worker who can stitch tears and give you medicine to prevent infection. For small cuts and tears:
- Soak your genitals 3 times each day in warm water that has been boiled and cooled. You can put chamomile flowers in the boiling water to help with healing. Or you can put the liquid from inside the leaves of an aloe plant on the cuts and tears.
- Pour water over your genitals when you pass urine so it will not burn. Drinking a lot of liquid makes the urine burn less.
- Watch for signs of infection: heat, yellow liquid (pus), a bad smell, and pain that gets worse.
Bladder or kidney infections
After violent sex, it is common for a woman to have a bladder or kidney infection. If you have pain when you pass urine, or if there is blood in your urine, see a health worker. You may need to take medicine. It helps to drink a lot of water, at least 8 glasses a day.
If you see someone who has been raped or abused:
Treat her with kindness and understanding. Encourage her to tell you what happened, listen carefully, and let her know you believe her. Do not blame her. She may find it difficult for you to see or touch her. So before you touch her, explain how you will examine her and wait until she is ready. Remember that her feelings about the rape and violence may last for a long time, even years.
Treat her health problems. Give her medicines to prevent STIs and pregnancy, and to lower her risk for getting HIV/AIDS. If she became pregnant because of the rape, help her to decide what to do.
Write down who raped her and exactly what happened. If your clinic does not keep records, make one and keep it somewhere safe. Draw a picture of the front and back of her body and mark the places where she has been hurt. Show or tell her what you have written and explain that it can be used to support the fact she was raped if she reports the rape to the police or brings legal charges against the rapist.
Treat her emotional and mental health needs. Ask her whether she has someone to talk to. Help her to respect herself again and to gain control of her life.
Help her to make her own decisions. If she wants to report the rape to the police, help her find legal services. Help her find other services in the community for women who have been raped.
Help her tell her partner or her family. If they do not know already, offer to help her tell them. You can help them find ways to support her until she recovers. Remember that family members usually also need help to overcome their feelings about the rape.
Sexual relations after rape
You can have normal sexual relations after rape. You will need to wait until your genitals no longer hurt and any tears have healed. For many women, having sex makes them think about the rape. If this happens to you, talk with your partner about why sex no longer feels the same, why it frightens you, and why you need to wait.
Ask your partner to help you overcome your fear by gentle hugging and caressing that avoids touching your genitals. As you feel safer, you may be able to start having sexual intercourse again. But this takes time, and you will both need to be patient. A woman’s partner can make a big difference in helping a woman who has been raped, by being kind and understanding. But sometimes a woman’s partner may reject her after she has been raped. He may be ashamed and angry, especially if he believes that her rape dishonors him or if the community holds that belief. It may help to find someone in the community he can talk with about his feelings.
How you feel after the rape
The rape may still bother you long after your body has healed. Here are some common reactions:
It is important for a woman who has been raped to talk to someone, or to do things that will help her feel better after the rape. Every woman finds her own way to heal. Some women perform a ritual. Others try to punish the rapist, or work to prevent other women from being raped. Whatever you do, be patient with yourself and ask others to be patient, too. For more information, see Chapter 3, Mental health.