Talking about addiction

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HealthWiki > Promoting Community Mental Health > Chapter 6: Alcohol and drug addiction are mental health problems > Talking about addiction

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In this chapter:

 

In this chapter:

• Chapter 6: Alcohol and drug addiction are mental health problems
• Talking about addiction
• People struggling with addiction need support
• Alcohol and drugs surround us

People with alcohol and drug addiction often feel shame about what they are going through. They may downplay or cover up their alcohol or drug use, and avoid admitting how it is affecting their lives and the lives of their friends and families.

Denial is often a part of this illness.

It may take a long time before a person with an addiction is ready to seek help. If you think someone in your life is misusing alcohol or drugs, if they show signs it is hurting them or the people around them, talking with them is a place to start. If the person does not believe they have a problem, just hearing you say you are worried may not convince them they need to make a change—but it is important to try. It may be on their mind as well.

How to talk with someone about alcohol and drug misuse—are they ready to get help?

The way to bring up alcohol or drug misuse can be similar to how to talk about other mental health challenges. Be mindful of your safety and how to get out of their way or out of the room in case the person gets angry.

• Don’t wait until the person “hits bottom.” Long before they are ready to ask for help, it may be on their mind or something they worry about.
• Plan to talk in a private, quiet place, when you both are sober.
• Start by saying you are concerned about their well-being and you care about them. Repeat this at the end.
• Mention specific examples of what you have seen that affects them, you, or others in negative ways.
• Do not judge, lecture, or even ask why they are using alcohol or drugs. Give them time to say whatever they want and listen carefully.
• Often people do not make any changes right away. They may need time to think about what you’ve said. But planting a first seed of the idea is something that may make a difference later.
• It is easy to feel frustrated if they deny there is a problem or become angry. These common responses are part of why getting help for problems from alcohol and drug use is so difficult.
• It can help to already know places where they can go to get help when they are ready.

Pooling our paychecks to cover mom’s medical bills, I see you spend a lot on liquor instead of costs at home. And last week, I know you drove home after drinking too much. I’m really scared something bad could happen to you.

It can take many conversations before someone is ready to seek help

Because of shame and denial, it may take many conversations before someone with alcohol or drug addiction is ready to seek help. Besides family members, these conversations can also be started by friends, community health workers, and church or community leaders known and trusted by the person you want to help.

Family members need support too:

If someone is not ready to accept they want help, your life doesn’t have to go on hold waiting for them. I tell the family members, “You have to take care of yourselves too!” Support groups can connect you to others going through the same situation. These include ACA (adult children of alcoholics) and Al-Anon groups. Goals are to focus on keeping yourself safe and emotionally OK and to avoid indirectly helping someone continue their addiction, for instance, by giving them money or covering up for them.

This page was updated:18 Apr 2025